After a solid day’s trekking, the hunters are cheered to find a group of thorn trees, indicating the presence of precious water. Aquila flies on, scouting for a cave to protect them from the coming night.
Distracted as they forage for food, the hunters fail to sense the danger. A lioness leaps, the group scatters, but an older man lags behind; Owab turns, raises his spear, but he’s too late.
Gripped by powerful jaws, the lions move in; by morning there will be nothing left but bones.
The pride is sated
and under a blood-red moon
a shooting star falls.
Previous episodes of this little African adventure are here.
Photo credit: Nick Owuor
Written in response to two challenges:
– Di of Pensitivity101‘s Wednesday’s Three Things Challenge – HORN, CHEER, SOLID
– Denise Farley of GirlieOnTheEdge‘s Sunday’s Six Sentence Story Word Prompt – PRESENCE
I also set myself the additional challenges of confining my piece to 100 words exactly and writing in the haibun form. Just for fun!
Click here for more Six Sentence Stories – or bring one of your own to the party!
luna's on line 
Why was I transported in the early 80s as I was reading the new Wilbur Smith’s novel?
I have no idea, but thank you for the unexpected gift.
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I’m honoured that you’ve made that particular comparison, Nick. Thank you! 😀
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Oh no, tragedy strikes.
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So many ways to get into difficulty in the bush! I fear we must anticipate further causalities… 😉
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Life is hard in the desert
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Especially without a huge camper van!!
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Yup! Great story Chris
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🙂
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😉
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Great visceral & punchy storytelling, Chris!
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Thanks, Tom! So pleased you found it so. 🙂
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on the beach
outta reach
silver dollar
and star fish
love
and bare bums
i sure wish
good post
of all the most.
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Maybe we will find treasure…
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Wondering now what will happen. Aquila is Owab’s hope. Waiting for the next. 🙂
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I’m wondering too, Kritika – at least until next week! 🙂
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Can understand. All the best!
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😀
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Great stuff Chris.
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Thanks, Di 🙂
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🙂
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😱 (Did you guess I would use this emoji in my comment? LOL) I love the line about the shooting star! It tied everything together and gives a lonesome feel to everything.
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A totally appropriate reaction! You might need some more of those 😉
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Excellent wordsmithing today. Great job super six
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Thanks so much! 🙂
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I like the parallel between two groups of hunters.
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Thanks, Frank – the hunter becomes the hunted.
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Only in fairy tales does everyone live happily ever after. The best life can give is enough survive to get the job done. Good reminder.
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Quite true, Mimi!
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I especially enjoyed sentences 3, 4 and 5. An impressive “telling” without literal “telling”.
Very well crafted Six, Chris.
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Thanks so much, Denise 🙂 I’m please you enjoyed!
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Oh, no! I thought Aquila would save the old man!
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Not this time, unfortunately, Liz. The hungry lioness, desperate to feed her cubs, was just too quick.
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Nature’s way . . .
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circle of life, yo, circle of life
(maybe the curse of the apple of a certain tree was to become aware of the circle and, by doing so, step outside of it, at least in terms of how we relate to the most fundamental aspects of life
the lion does not feel regret for killing to provide for the pride and, I suspect, will not feel resentful when the tables are turned
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The law of the bush. Inescapable.
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Very tragic for the poor old man. An enjoyable haibun.
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Quite so Robbie, but the cubs were hungry. I’m pleased you enjoyed the poem. 🙂
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The grim realities of life in the wild; beautifully told.
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Thanks, Susan! This story is turning a little grim but the bush is a dangerous place.
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Oh no! With the high came the low.. you’re painting a picture of a dangerous world, Chris. It can be tricky, survival.
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The setting is not one for the unwary as I think we’re beginning to see.
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Indeed! 😳
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Excellent, Chris. I thought this episode was bleak and full of omens, like how Aquila had gone ahead, how Owab failed to protect the elder member, how the lions had to be sated come what may and seek their own nourishment. That moon (and comet) had quite some pull eh!
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Thanks, Ford! I found the photo first for a change and the story followed. I must try that trick again 🙂
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Cool! It’s interesting how an image can inspire the story then.
(off to check my image archives now 😀)
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Well that’s nice, I must say!
Just bump off the oldies, why doncha.
Delightful piece (especially for the big cats)
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Ha ha! If I’d been with them, he wouldn’t have had to worry.
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This format really works for telling a story. I would’ve never thought to use it! Really fantastic work, Chris. Kind of reminds me of flash fiction, which I think works great for novel writing.
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Thanks Benjamin! I came to use the haibun for this challenge by accident. One of the early Sixes I wrote was a simple piece of flash fiction, but unintentionally the last 3 sentences came out as a haiku. I decided to (try to) keep it going.
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It’s really clever and unique. And it works really outstandingly. It’s cool how many way art can come out. Gives me a sense of an myth this way too. Way to think out side of the box and be creative and unique in thinking about a story!
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Thanks so much, Benjamin. I’m really enjoying the challenge of this ongoing story!
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That’s awesome to hear. The challenge can really be the best part. Thanks for reminding me this!
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Ouch. Quite a way to go.
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It was never going to be easy. 🙂
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