Flash Fiction / writing prompts

The Facility #1

Chris Hall101 Comments

‘Welcome to the…’ the double doors swish open before you can read the rest of the sign emblazoned across them and you stumble forward onto a deep coir doormat where a homely-looking nurse in a crisp white uniform stands waiting, clipboard in hand.

‘You must sign in,’ she says, taking you firmly by the elbow and propelling you towards a large wooden desk where an unsmiling administrator slides a sheet of paper across the polished surface towards you; the nurse thrusts a pen into your hand and for a moment you’re not sure what to do; you stare at the form but the words slide off the page and tumble into oblivion.

‘Just sign it, we have your details,’ instructs the unsmiling administrator; the homely-looking nurse stabs the form with a forefinger, so you submit a faint fragile scribble that seems to satisfy them.

The nurse whisks the pen from your fingers and indicates that you should follow her down a blank corridor lined with unlabelled doors, offering no clue as to what might lie behind them; you have no alternative than to comply, although you have no idea where you are or why you are here, so you shuffle along after her until finally she comes to a halt and opens a door.

She ushers you into a clean, compact dorm room: ‘Your new clothes are on the bed,’ she gives you a little shove then withdraws.

The key turns in the lock and her footsteps fade into silence.

Photo credit: Scott Webb on Unsplash

The Facility is a new short story series, written in response to two challenges:

– Di of Pensitivity101‘s Wednesday’s Three Things Challenge – HOMELY, WELCOME, SMILING
– Denise Farley of GirlieOnTheEdge‘s Sunday’s Six Sentence Story Word Prompt – ALTERNATIVE

Read more Six Sentence Stories here!

101 thoughts on “The Facility #1”

  9. can i take your temperature? she asks
    no i said
    i got both shots
    and your posture
    is not in vogue anymore
    have a nice day
    we say
    as i mock
    and laugh at her
    arrogance
    and ass u mptionz

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  16. Yup. Got a mighty bad feeling about this, lol. Clearly Chris, you must elaborate in further posts 😀
    I’ve never written in 2nd person pov as it has always intimidated me. Perhaps, after reading your Six, I should test those waters 🙂
    btw, the title is telling – how many more “Facilities” are there?!

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    • Oh yes, definitely more to come, Denise. How much more, I don’t know (yet). 2nd person is a bit of a challenge, but this is the place for experiments! Oh, and as to the title, being a little lazy, the #1 was just intended to indicate part one, but now you have me thinking… 🤔

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  18. This piece instantly piqued my interest. I loved how it was told in the second person perspective because that helped to place me right into the story and to really feel like I was there. Second, your imagery and descriptions of the facility really helped to bring it to life. This was a highly immersive read full with lots of tension – I’m excited to see what will happen next! 😊

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    • I’m so pleased I was able to draw you in and that you could feel the tension. This place has really got under my skin. Hoping to keep the nightmares at bay… ’til next week. 🙂

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  30. Ah yes, Chris, I love the limboesque feel of this.
    (I know it’s not a word, but yeah…)
    Delightfully descriptive turns of phrase (…a faint fragile scribble…), as always.

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    • Ah yes, you reminded me. I guess I could have drawn on all kinds of unconscious influences. I really enjoyed the original and the unabridged versions of The Stand. I adore King’s prose.

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  42. Yikes! Welp, you’ve got me hooked, Chris. 🙂 Moments like this can be truly frightening–not just *not* remembering oneself or one’s purpose, but those blank smiles and papers just needing a name…the power lost when giving away one’s name cannot be underestimated!

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