Stretching out your hand towards the familiar face, the one you remember from the mirror, your fingertips brush lightly over the surface of the tank; the occupant’s eyes blink open and the mouth gapes back at you in surprise – or is it horror? Recoiling from the unexpected engagement, you step back, a silent oath escaping your lips, as your companion – or rather, your colleague – takes you gently by the elbow and steers you to a desk in the corner of the room.
Gazing nervously over your shoulder, you look down at the journal that lies open before you. Recognizing your own handwriting, your eyes explore the text, the calculations, the diagrams – it’s all here – your head whips around once again and the face which floats behind the glass implores you: end this!
Mind whirring, you page desperately through the journal’s dated entries – puzzle pieces click and unclick, form and re-form – you sweep the journal from the desk and rush from the room, through the door and into the corridor; footsteps follow as you hurtle down the stairs to the exit, where you throw open the fire escape doors and run into the street; your only instinct is to flee… straight into the waiting arms of the blank-faced orderly.
He eases you into the waiting wheelchair and pushes you back into the building where the homely-looking nurse in her crisp white uniform stands waiting, clipboard in hand; she smiles: ‘Welcome back, Dr Conel, we’ve been expecting you.’
Confused? You might be! Read previous episodes of The Facility here.
Written in response to two challenges:
– Di of Pensitivity101‘s Wednesday’s Three Things Challenge – OATH, ENGAGE, PUSH
– Denise Farley of GirlieOnTheEdge‘s Sunday’s Six Sentence Story Word Prompt – EXPLORE
Photo credit: Scott Webb on Unsplash
More Splendid Sixes HERE – watch out for the zombies!
Oh my! Now what. A cliffhanger!
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I think our protagonist has returned to where he first came in. 😉
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And now? I hope there’s more!
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Mmm… not sure. It might be one to return to though. 🤔
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I hope so.
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It’s hard to write in 2nd person. I have one book I wrote that way but never fiction. Nicely done. I can feel its power.
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It’s quite difficult to sustain, and it’s not something you come across in fiction that often. The only novel I can think of is Complicity by Iain Banks.
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Haven’t heard of that one. I’ll have to check on it.
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So creepy, Chris. I love your undaunted experimentation with 2nd person combined with present tense. Such a unique choice. But you pull it off! I’m eager to see what happens next.
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Thanks, Diana! Our protagonist has gone full circle now, so we might be taking a break from this particular story.
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😀
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Such a terrifying story–and developed in such short snippets! I can’t wait for the next installment (although I’ll probably wish I had waited . . . )
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We might be taking a little breather for this one. Not forever though!
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No, not forever!!
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I see a series two somewhere on a distant horizon. I’ve even made a two line note about it. Shh…, don’t tell anyone.
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Your secret is safe with me. 😉
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😁
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😬 Oh no!! I was hoping this would be when he/she makes a break for it! This is my favorite series of yours at present.
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Oh dear, sorry! Our pluck protagonist, having been ‘absorbed’ back into the facility, needs to rest those neurons… just for a while…
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Arrgh! I knew it was too good to last! Back to from where it began.
Good going, Chris!
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That’s right, Punam! We’ll be pausing for a ‘recharge’ while our protagonist prepares for another attempt.
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Brilliant Chris……………….. love it!!!
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Thanks, Di! This has been an interesting one.
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Excellent, Chris. Truly terrifying as now we come full circle after that glimpse of escape, and learn at last the identity of the poor soul enduring this endless nightmare. The opening line: “Stretching out your hand towards the familiar face, the one you remember from the mirror…” is perfectly chilling.
You chose a difficult POV throughout this series, but always maintained the mystery and creep factor.
Bravo!
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Thanks so much, Ford! Who knows what might come next… 🤔
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Indeed. Can the Doctor ever break that loop?
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Oh, golly… yes. Well, maybe? 😟😓😯
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Just when I thought it was over … it wasn’t! Another great instalment Chris.
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Thanks, Keith! Over… for now…
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Excellent
The horror of circularity!*
This type of story is so tricky (see below) compared to a normal ‘surprise ending’. In a sense, the hard part is to keep us Readers with the protagonist right to the next to the last moment.
I say, ‘next to the last moment’ because we need to be able to step back and let all the supporting story drive itself home, much as happens to the character.
Not that it’s necessary to say, but this series was fun. Technical appreciation adds to the pleasure of reading an enjoyable serial story.
* an especially difficult technique in writing, made impressive by the 2nd person POV**
** specifically: keeping us with the protagonist as the action/suspense builds. all while laying the groundwork for the climax.
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Thanks so much for the appreciation, Clark! Trouble now for me is to ‘follow that’…
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Amazing! A full circle nightmare. Those are the BEST!
I intend to read the story again from the beginning today. I don’t want to miss a thing!
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How very kind of you to say, Susan! I’m honoured.☺
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👏❤👍
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And that would be Nurse Ratched, I presume. 😉
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The description fits, don’t you think?
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Vey much so 🙂
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kept us hanging good use of the cue as well
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Objective achieved! Thanks, Paul.
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Interesting how they expected her to make all those discoveries and rush off. I wonder if she got herself into all of this.
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I suspect that she did. We’ll have to wait for the loop to spool again!
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👏
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🙏
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Intense opening 2 sentences. I felt very much as if I were the protagonist (being led around the facility), going where I was directed and then bam! Awesome conclusion, Chris 😀
I admire your ability to write this series entirely in 2nd person pov.
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Thanks so much, Denise! I enjoyed the challenge.
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Yep, excellent. You can bend words to your will.
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Thanks, Geoff! I try to 🙂
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That really is fantastic. Had me hooked.
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Thanks very much, Gary 🙂 Now it’s time for something completely different! No idea what… yet.
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This time, will the good doctor remember?
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We’ll see in series two which will surely come around eventually!
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Oh, no! A horror version of Groundhog Day!
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Yep, that’s the one. Just have to find a way to break the cycle in the next series!
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Two challenges combined into one is some achievement, but then to produce such a thrilling story as well, Chris…
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I’m really pleased you enjoyed the series, Matthew. 🙂
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No escape from a guilty conscience?
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Could be, Liz!
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Ahhhhh, Chris, you are so tricky, leaving us dangling like this.
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I’m leaving the door ajar for a possible second series! 😉
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Possible second series – noooooo! You must let us know what happens. It would be cruel not to.
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Okay, we’ll see… 😊
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