– When do I get my Button, Humphrey?
– Button, Prime Minister?
– You know, my Big Red Button. The important one! I want one like everyone else.
– Everyone else, Prime Minister?
– Yes, Putin’s got one, Trump’s got one, that slitty-eyed fellow in North Korea, even Monsieur Whatshisname in France has one.
– You mean the MAD button, Prime Minister?
– Oh no, this isn’t mad, it’s actually quite serious.
– MAD stands for Mutually Assured Destruction, it’s a mnemonic, Prime Minister.
– Never mind how it works, Humphrey, get me the person in charge of our Big Red Button.
– That would be the Chief of Defence, Prime Minister.
– All right then, get the army chappie over here and tell him to bring me my Button.
Later that day.
– The Chief of Defence is here to see you Prime Minister.
A man dressed in uniform with lots of gold braid enters the PM’s office. He places a metal briefcase on the desk and opens it. The Prime Minister rubs his hands together.
– Excellent. Now show me how it works
– Once all the protocols have been agreed, Prime Minister, you simply push that button in the centre of the control mechanism.
– Oh, that one? It’s not very big, is it? And it’s not very red.
– Nevertheless Prime Minister, that is Britain’s Big Red Button. Only to be used in the most dire of emergencies.
– But I’m the one who gets to push the Button?
– Yes, Prime Minister.
– Golly, isn’t politics exciting!
Sir Humphrey shows the Chief of Defence out, closing the door behind them both.
– Tell me that’s not the real thing, Nick?
– Good heavens no, Humphrey! We wouldn’t want something like that in the hands of a politician.
– Does it actually do anything?
– Well, it is armed. Otherwise it wouldn’t look authentic.
– Armed? Good Lord. What might he set off?
– Oh, nothing serious, just a few fireworks in the shrubbery.
Written in response to a prompt from Susan T. Braithwaite
Genre Scribes Friday Fiction Writing Challenge #33
The challenge this week was politics.
With sincerest apologies to everyone who was involved in that great BBC institution, the TV series ‘Yes, Prime Minister’. For anyone who’s never seen it, here’s a little taster:
luna's on line 
Can picture the characters perfectly – lovely tribute! 🙂
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Thanks, Tom 🙂 They were so clever and funny!
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Can I get one of those for “The Donald?” It wouldn’t last 5 minutes. Then he would blame the person that gave it to him in a Tweet.
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I’m sure he already has one. Did you see that extra bunker on his golf course in Dubai? 😉
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I didn’t, but I believe your right…
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Love this, Chris.
Our future is in their hands!🙂
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As a former local government officer, I can only applaud the best efforts of the civil service. We watch and wait…
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They do a good job on the whole, with many unpleasant decisions to make – but I couldn’t do it. I’m not serious enough! 😊
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I can’t speak for the civil service, but I do remember much frivolity where I used to work (location withheld to protect the guilty) 😉
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Sounds like the Dept. For Fun and Frivolity 😊 I’d heard rumours such a department existed…
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I couldn’t possibly comment 🙊
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Your secret’s safe with me. 🤐
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Whew😉
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This is great Chris. I loved that show.
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☺ I wasn’t sure how far the show reached.
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It is a classic. Though I liked “Yes minister” better. It was hilarious.
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Yes, I think I’d agree with you, The first ones were the best.
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👍😍😂
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Perfectly put across, Chris, and uncomfortably close to the truth!
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Thanks Matthew, let’s hope the fallout’s confined to the shrubbery!
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Brilliant homage to a truly wonderful series with the very best of casts.
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Thanks Colin, it was wonderful. Satire at it’s best!
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Brilliantly captured, Chris. It’d be hilarious if it weren’t so close to reality. Thanks for taking part! 🤩
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Always a pleasure to play 🙂
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HA! Love the fireworks part. Just enough explosives to get the Big Man hiding under his desk… 🙂
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Maybe it’ll make him think twice in future.
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I should hope so!
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