The hunters advance further into the foothills of the purple mountains. Despite Aquilla’s reassuring presence, Owab remains downcast. He cannot pretend that his failure to forestall the lioness’ attack on the elder hasn’t weakened the group’s chances of success in their search for the Rain Bull.
As night falls, the hunters light a fire on a shelf-like outcrop of rock and wait as the quarter moon rises in the velvet sky to align with Orion’s three she-tortoises. Each throws a handful of scented herbs into the flickering flames.
Aquilla cries out;
they gather around the fire
and prepare to dance.
Previous episodes of this little African adventure are here.
Photo credit: researchgate.net
Written in response to two challenges:
– Di of Pensitivity101‘s Wednesday’s Three Things Challenge – PRETEND, SHELF, TALL
– Denise Farley of GirlieOnTheEdge‘s Sunday’s Six Sentence Story Word Prompt – QUARTER
I also set myself the additional challenges of confining my piece to 100 words exactly and writing in the haibun form. Just for fun!
Click here for more Six Sentence Stories – or bring one of your own to the party!
Just thought to see if mirroring Owab has any meaning…look and behold, Bawo according to the Dictionary of South African English means father !!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Fancy that! I had no idea 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Terrific as always Chris!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks so much, Di 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmm…I detect a sense of foreboding…
LikeLiked by 1 person
You know me too well, Debra!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful sense of the moon rising. What a scene!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So pleased you enjoyed it, Matthew 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very well written Chris. I can see it in the lines.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Sadje! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome ☺️
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is a lovely African story, Chris. It seems to be on-going which is great.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Robbie, I hope it feels authentic to you. It’s still unfolding…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It does, that is one of the reasons I like it so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can see the scene as if I’m right there!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Job done! Thanks, Liz 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, Chris!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haunting stories! Formats similar to haibun, or alternating verse and poetry give a lot of scope for expression.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m really enjoying this format, Reena. It seems to lend itself to these slightly mystical tales.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. It does.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You have a wonderful economy in your writing which I admire greatly.
You paint a scene that transports the reader, and you waste nary a word.
Fabulous.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much! I appreciate such high praise. 🙂
LikeLike
Outstanding ‘visuals’.
That final little poem/haiku-thing (at the end of each Six) is really kinda cool…somehow, has effect of lifting us (the Readers) a bit above the narrative for a promise or hint or threat of something ahead.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful feedback, thank you, Clark. I’m really enjoying playing around with this format 🙂
LikeLike
A terrific tale, both graphic and atmospheric. Well done.
My Six!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Keith 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You write so well and thoughtfully great six.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! I really appreciate your comments.
LikeLike
Excellent excerpt. I love exploring how early man understood the world around him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Jacqui! Born in a Treacherous Time still seeps into my consciousness, even more so as I’m reading ‘Africa, A Biography of the Continent by John Reader’ – a hefty but fascinating tome. I’m still way back in pre-history and the development of early man. It really chimes with your Prehistorical Fiction. My little troop are a bit later down the line, rooted in the legends of the San People.
LikeLiked by 1 person
OK, I need to check out both of those. I’ve read a lot about primitive peoples in Arica (I use that term denotatively) but not much about the San People. Do you have any recommendations?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, the first one is yours!!
Some other reading suggestions for you Jacqui:
Voices of the San – an absolutely beautiful book (I borrowed it from the library) https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/973278.Voices_Of_The_San
Rainmaker – fiction and set in the present day but with an authentic feel, exploring the ancient San customs: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10761715-rainmaker
An interesting exploration of some of the ancient sites associated with the San people: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9812339-a-millimetre-of-dust
And thank you so much for your lovely review of ‘Following the Green Rabbit’!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Clicking through on all of those…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like those “she-tortoises” around Orion.
LikeLiked by 1 person
In the belief system of the San People they represent the stars which form Orion’s sword.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May they never give up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fear not, they won’t! 🙂
LikeLike
They continue on despite the hardship! I like the aligning of the moon and constellation to bring about a sacred dance before the flames. Another good episode, Chris.
The format you are using is as vital as the surroundings and mystical elements. In the children’s stories Rupert Bear you would typically have images and a stream of narration, yet beneath each image was the addition of a rhyme to ‘illustrate’ the illustration – always loved that clever touch.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Ford! I’m really enjoying the format. Now that you mention it, I remember the way Rupert’s stories went. I wonder what happened to my Rupert annual c.1968..?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Charming books those annuals, Chris. I still have some of my childhood ones, plus a whole lot of others I collected later.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Party time! There spirits would soon be high with the dance tonight.
Enjoyed the read.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A little light relief next week perhaps? So glad you enjoyed it, Kritika 🙂
LikeLike
You say so much in so few words, Chris, and within the disciplines you choose to follow. And they’re never obvious. Such good writing. I can see what’s happening here so clearly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Jenne! That’s a lovely compliment. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful. I too am impressed at how you express/describe so much in so few words. 100 you say? Damn!
(a high compliment, Chris :D)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really appreciate your kind words, Denise! I love the SSS challenges, especially the after party 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fantastic writing. I can picture the scene easily.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Nicole. I’m so pleased you could!
LikeLiked by 2 people
She-tortoises; San People… I’m learning whilst reading! Chris: fabulous! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Tom. Someday they might even make it into a book…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why not? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not until a certain group of scousers get their sequel!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah… I see! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like a dance I’d like to be part of.. well written, as always 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That dance would be right up your street, I imagine! How’s the NFT business going? (I still don’t pretend to grasp the concept). 🙂
LikeLike
I’ve made a game! I’ll present it on the blog soon. Just had a couple of players so far, but it’s been quite rewarding.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m talking artistically, though. I’m definetely not getting rich 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such is the life of a creative for most of us, and yet we strive on!
LikeLike
I look forward to it!
LikeLike
I love that little moment of psychology, the feeling that Owab has that won’t go away. Wonderful Haibun Chris.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for this, Paul. 🙂 Owab is carrying a lot of weight on his young shoulders.
LikeLike
Poor Owab; what a weight to carry. I sense his crucible is far from over. Great instalment, Chris!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I believe you’re right, Susan. This one does have a little while more to run!
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Love & Love Alone.
LikeLike