
I am indebted to my beta readers for their careful consideration of my work. Our discussions come in many forms. This was part of a whatsapp conversation between me and my loyal and gifted friend, Laurette as she burned the midnight oil reading the draft MS of Spirit of the Shell Man, the sequel to Song of the Sea Goddess, a few weeks ago.
~~~
Laurette: I just wanted to mention that it is unsafe to feed a dog grapes or raisins. I know that Toti is a monkey and wouldn’t know that.😔
Me: Oh, I didn’t know that either. I don’t want to poison the dog or lead anyone else to. I’ll have to think of something else.
a little later
Me: Are bananas okay for dogs? (asking for a monkey friend) 🐒🍌
Laurette: Bananas are safe for dogs to eat in small amounts and could help with gastrointestinal issues. However, too much banana can lead your dog to having an upset stomach and diarrhea due to the amount of extra fiber and sugar.
Me: So Toti sharing a couple of slices is fine then. Great!
Laurette: 👍
Re-write time!
Before🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇
Andreas serves up the two breakfasts and puts a dish containing a small bunch of grapes by the stool where Toti’s sitting. She gives him a long blink then grabs the grapes from the dish. A moment later she drops to the floor and scurries out of the back door, the bunch held delicately between her teeth. The Professor spins in his seat, the fork speared with a piece of sausage half way to his mouth. ‘Where are you going, Toti?’ he calls anxiously after her.
Andreas, who can see through the open door from where he’s standing, is quick to reassure him. ‘Don’t worry, Professor, she’s sharing her breakfast with my little skeelo friend. The Professor cranes around the edge of the counter to see Toti plucking a grape from the bunch and offering it to the scruffy little dog that Andreas has been feeding each morning for a year or more. Grinning, the Professor raises his eyebrows and returns to his breakfast.
After🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌
Andreas serves up the two breakfasts and places a banana on the counter. ‘Shall I peel and slice it for you?’ he says, grinning down at Toti. She gives him a long blink then carefully picks up the banana. A moment later she drops to the floor and scurries out of the back door with it. The Professor spins on his seat, the piece of sausage speared on his fork half way to his mouth. ‘Where are you going, Toti?’ he calls anxiously after her.
Andreas, who can see through the open door from where he’s standing, is quick to reassure him. ‘Don’t worry, Professor, she’s sharing her breakfast with my little skeelo friend. The Professor cranes around the edge of the counter to see Toti breaking a piece from the now-peeled banana and offering it to the scruffy little dog that Andreas has been feeding each morning for a year or more. Grinning, the Professor raises his eyebrows and returns to his breakfast.
Phew! no animals injured.
You’re so thorough Chris. I hope to read the book soon.
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Coming REALLY soon, Sadje. I’m honoured by your enthusiasm for my new book. 🤗😊🥰
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I love your books Chris
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You’re making me blush again! 😊
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😀
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Cute dialogue 🙂
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Thanks, Paula! – Sorry for the late response, I just hooked you out of my spam! 🎣
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No problem 😻
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As a Veterinary Technician/Nurse I 100% endorse the changes!! Thank you for being careful in preventing harm to the pet population (who can be impacted in so many ways)!
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Always, Val 🙂
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Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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Thanks so much for sharing, Michael! 😊🤗
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🙂 Thank you for writing, Chris! Enjoy a beautiful weekend! xx Michael
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You too! 🙂
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It’s the little details that make all the difference, Chris. Although until now I never knew grapes weren’t good for dogs… 🙂
There’s always something to learn!
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I didn’t know that either!
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Thinking about it now though, Liz, I can’t say I’m aware of dogs eating any kind of fruit… 🤔
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Now that you mention it, neither am I. Hmm . . .
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Exactly, Tom. Writing is a great learning opportunity 🙂
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Indeed it is. I’m learning about different cultures’ gods and goddesses right now; just to pull out a few bits I need for me to completely re-write their history! 😀 It’s all very confusing…
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I’m looking forward to reading the revised version of their celestial machinations, Tom 🙂
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I’m just creating a few images for future posts, Chris. Presently, I’m with the Mayans!
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Ah, the Mayans. Tell them the world’s 10 years overdue for its calamitous end. On second thoughts, maybe better not to mention it…
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Don’t forget they used a different dating system to us, Chris… our calculations may have been slightly out. I threw a blog party to celebrate the end of the world in 2012 (https://wp.me/pVkLb-1ug), back in a different time and different place (my blog’s changed a lot since then!) which recorded for prosperity that the end didn’t come as expected.
Thinking about it, though, I shan’t mention it to the Mayans… no point in reminding them, is there?
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I’ve never used a beta reader, it was really interesting to read your exchange and resulting revision.
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Laurette’s help has been invaluable. I first turned to her when I finished the draft of ‘Song of the Sea Goddess’ because I wanted to make sure the South African voices came over as authentic. She picks up so much more.
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I’m thinking I might need an authenticity reader for the novel I’m working on now. I’m paying close attention online to anyone connected with Vermont historical associations.
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Well worth it, I should think, Liz.
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Fingers crossed I’m able to find someone!
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Hope so too, Liz. I’m sure there will be someone out there with the specialist knowledge.
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I expect there will be.
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Some invaluable tips you can pick up from beta readers! Very useful advice 🙂
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Absolutely, Tom!
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I’m so happy you’ve got your beta notes back! You’re really motoring now. And, thank you for my “learn something new every day” for today; I didn’t know about dogs and grapes, either.
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The book is almost there, just final touches to the cover (which has neither dogs nor grapes on it!).
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Awesome! I think I caught a glimpse of it on your FB page. Looking good!
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Thanks, Susan! Big buildup coming out on Friday 🙂
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Good luck! Got everything crossed for you 🤞
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The right beta readers are indispensable. Looks like you chose a great one, Chris.
Good luck with the new novel, and stay safe!
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Thanks very much, Kathy. I should add that your books have been really handy in taming (some) of my prose. 🙂
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Well I have to say, even as one “Raised by Swedes” it would never have occurred to me to make sure my characters didn’t offer unsafe fruit to pets. Good info to know. I’m glad Toti didn’t unintentionally poison the little dog after all. 😊
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At least Toti was safe offering cucumber to the little dog in the first book! So many things to watch out for.
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Always an element of risk…🤔
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It’s amazing what we don’t pick up but others do. You’re lucky to have someone so helpful to beta read for you 😀
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It’s true. Deb. I’m very fortunate to have Laurette read my books.
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Beta readers who take that kind of care with a read are fabulous, aren’t they? And there’s no way we can know all those details ourselves! What a fun demonstration of how beta readers make our books better. Loved this, Chris. 😀
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I’m pleased you enjoyed our little exchange, Diana!
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Wow, just wow Chris…it made me even more excited..
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Aww thanks, Mich! 😊
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Hi Chris, that is a delightful extract. I look forward to reading your new book. We are lucky to have such lovely people to help us make our stories the best they can be.
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Thanks, Robbie! Having that extra input makes all the difference. I’m going to offering ARCs through Booksprout if you’re interested – see my Friday post.
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I’ll watch out for it. Thanks
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😁👍
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This is a great example of small details that can really be important. Thanks for the clear example here. Nice work.
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Thanks very much, Christi. I’m pleased you found it interesting.
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I have read plenty about how beta readers can offer invaluable advice to help us writers revise and rewrite, but I have never seen the process in action. Loving the example you share here!
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I’m really pleased you enjoyed that little peek into our process, Jaya!
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